- 999,999.99 -

i'm not pretty sure if my voice could be heard all over cyberspace. but hopefully a lot of you would take notice and take heed. a friend of mine is doing a special cause for his brother.

please visit www.facebook.com and search for -999,999.99- read through and show some support.


lets spread some love this season.

IMAGINE HOW FAR COULD YOUR PESO COULD GO.

ouch namien!

The prelude to my weekend has been a heart-breaking sudden turn of events. I have just found out that lonelyboy is seeing someone and that someone ain’t me.

Ouch, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Big time.

Maybe the stars were already aligned at one point in time and that my only MAJO! MAJOR! Mistake was not playing my cards right.

I spoke to Geng first about my predicament and true to the Michael Chitru Credo AKA Mr Geng fashion, he listened. Waited for me to throw all I can and after a sigh of relief from he would reply simple words that would reassure me that everything is going to be OK.

Then the plot continues, Roxy was at the office since Keith asked him to drop by due to my predicament, wherein unfortunately Keith and his big mouth blurted out some things that Roxy can connect the dots and see the bigger picture (I gave lonelyboy a smack on the lips the night prior, although I’m not sure if his partner could have clobbered me at that point but I was to hurt to care, not noticing Roxy had seen what I did). I was caught off guard when he confronted me.

So I asked them both, was there something I did? To which they had to agree on this I DID NOT MAKE HIM REALIZE THATI WAS, HEY! I’M HERE.. I LIKE YOU..GIVE ME A CHANCE; CAN YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME?

And I believe that was my Waterloo, as Mr Geng observed that I would act as if I had no intentions of loving him when we’d kid around every time at the office lobby. It’s just me sabotaging myself. Roxy told me that I could have acted aggressively but in an assertive manner, mala-RUBI daw kuno, but it’s far too late. And I have to live with it.

I can strike up conversations with strangers but definitely not with the one I like/love for that matter.

Now I have to act like one of the girls at the Miss Universe pageant smiling and clapping on stage while someone else is being crowned, wishing nothing but the best to the winner, waiting for the disappointment to sink in.

And P.S. I’m not crying at this point. I believe it’s pointless, wa mi ga-uyab so there.

grrr....

"IS TOTALLY NINGNING BECAUSE OF KUMARENG JOREGINA FERNANDEZ!",

those were the thoughts that spilled off my mouth with what happened a little while ago.

Floie could only giggle.

He/ she / or it cannot imagine the thought of me fuming mad yet totally helpless and could only utter a one liner at the presence of someone who rests at the catacombs of the greatest muscle of my body .

I know Chitru would have loved to see me act that way, pokerfaced yet already bracing my arms to strangle someone. after all he has been my confidante with all of these matters where he would just chuckle and gave a thought or two.


again GRRRRRRRRRRR............

was that my name?

im just scribbling my thoughts like a pre-pubescent girl, lost in the emotion.

HE SAID MY NAME.

my heart just went straight to my throat. gulp.

i had thought that i would soon get enough of him, or so i thought. im not nagging, im just LOST IN THE FEELING.

i wonder if he notices?... and thats another gulp if he does. im just afraid of rejection.
i keep my emotions hidden and it backfires and blows up in my face.
will he ever notice?


(photo c/o of photobucket)

shhh....

i don't really reveal matters of the heart unless you caught me off guard. but geng did. so hopefully the information that you have uncovered yourself remains with you ONLY!

You should listen to Kieth's comment's about him, you'd roll over laughing. AS IN, truly Keith is the Queen of evil badings!

And since its june 25th its actually lonelyboi's birthday so a shoutout to you!

and BTW you can visit geng at his site http://thecebulife.blogspot.com.

shading an elipses

I am not sure if I will be able to practice my right to vote. The thing is I have registered myself to be responsible enough to choose the next leader. However my ID has not been released since 2006, and I lost my claim stub. What am I to do now?.

Funny how art imitates life, Cos it seems like the political arena seems like an episode of Southpark (figure it out).

Just a thought.

So we hope for the next leaders to be kind enough, but are we waiting in vain and ask where have all the good leaders gone?

I am personally losing faith amidst the evils of politics.

a pill to forget you

I'm trying to avoid someone and a certain feeling right now. And in pure unadulterated circumstances or an unfortunate series of mishaps our ways have collided in more ways than one (we're office mates, duh!) As big as the office might be we never seem to run out of episodes in the hallways or at the smoking lounge. I know they seem unintentional but we gotta stop meeting like this.

Its funny that medicine has found a cure for almost..., ALMOST everything and science has invented anti-viral creams and antibiotic tablets/capsules/caplets what have you that seem to combat the ill corporal manifestations of these microorganisms. Well I do have a question how long will it for them to manufacture a pill to forget someone and move on? Or am I waiting in vain.

I was in Bantayan over the weekend. Soaking in the sun, having the best time, chilling by the beach and swimming of course, trying to forget him as i left the main land in my sojourn. But when the sun had already set, i was in my downtime the feelings all caught up.

And i was lost and confused... again.

the thing is the person I'm trying to forget sent me a message. weird. and who was i to deny a reply?

and here comes my perverted version of an ugly step sister coming into the scene trying to cause a fracas. When will she ever figure out the fact that I MAY BE FAT BUT I'M NOT AS UGLY AS HE IS... that's already inside and out.

an imaginary world and a porsche

how do u save you self from a would be relationship?

weird huh? when u feel like all the stars are in line, the stage is set and that you are already in your full metal regalia, then suddenly the other half vanishes into thin air and all your plans all turn into nothing but well... plans with no action taken.

and then suddenly it stings, more potent that of a bee's. all the paranoia, the "what if's" and all the "what should i do's"? crashed down on you as if it were a giant Christmas tree losing its balance while your underneath it grinning naughtily as you open gifts on boxing day.

have we failed to see the warning signs? perhaps there was but we were just too busy minding our own little make believe world where its just you and that person, nothing else and that your love can withstand anything (traffic and power blackouts included). the next thing we know the sting already formed a wheal with a burning sensation, warm to the touch and that much unsightly.

can we ever find our way out of this mindset,? is there no traffic police to get us out and tow our yet imaginary Porsche out from trouble?, and even worse no mighty mouse to save the day? or better yet a map to find one's own happiness.

-- a post valentines day entry. thankfully its not about myself.... err.. well 1/3 of it is.