BAH HUMBUG!!!

Its that time in the year when nearly all malls put the signage SALE all at the same time. Yes it is Christmas already. And I'm trying to condition myself with all its chirpiness it has to give or or the chilly breeze that make me wanna curl like a big ball of myself and forgetting the morning mass to be not a scrooge and go on with the smiles. Yes Christmas maybe a season when all people maybe thinking of letting bygones be bygones, well almost. We all have this notion that we need to give in to the season of giving and all that but come to think of it there are still people who are not making Christmas as an excuse to make peace with their enemies, frienemies, or those people who they have the intention of snubbing or at least putting an effort with all the ka-platikan in the world just to think they are happy and content with whats' happened. I mean whats with all this???... I know I would still need to look for the spirit of Christmas in me.. or at least I'm trying.

Well... Happy Holidays to say the least,...

been away for a while now..

geeeezzz... its been months since my last post. Just got caught up with a lot of things,.. and besides My creative juices is not yet pumping up. I'll get to post things after Halloween... and yeah.. We're back, i mean my bubu and i are back...Ü

.... sniff.....

I'm having a difficult situation right now. I'll just let the song express how i feel.

What becomes of the broken hearted


As I Walk This Land Of Broken Dreams
I Have Visions Of Many Things
Happiness Is Just An Illusion
Filled With Sadness And Confusion

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted
Who Have Love That's Now Departed
I Know Iv'e Got To Find Some Kind Of Piece Of Mind

Roots Of Love Grow All Around
But For Me They Come Tumbling Down
Every Day Heart Aches Grow A Little Stronger
I Can't Stand This Pain Much Longer

Walk In Shadows Searching For Light
Cold And Alone No Comfort In Sight
Hoping And Praying For Someone To Care
Always Moving But Going No Where

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted
Who Have Love That's Now Departed
I Know Iv'e Got To Find Some Kind Of Piece Of Mind

I'm Searching Though I Don't Succeed
But Someones Love Leaves A Growing Need
Always Lost Theres No Place For Beginning
All That??S Left Is An Unhappy Ending

What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted
Who Have Love That's Now Departed
I Know Iv'e Got To Find Some Kind Of Piece Of Mind

crankSLAPPERS!

The other week I visited a friend whom right now maybe in a case of house arrest careof her father because of one crazy event. What crazy event?... read closely. At a point in one's life one can never be too drunk or too stupd to commit acts that you would regret in the near future. The thing is that once things had happened we can't ask for a take two, we just can't take them back. Its true that each person has thier own reactions to alcohol of any kind. One may sit quietly and blush while majority will lose all thier inhibitions and do the unimaginable... or so i thought. Because her mind and body chooses to react to the latter she would scream out loud and wake all your neighbors.. dead or alive. Truth b told she woke everyone up, and cranky people who just woke up in the middle of the night are not the ones to mess with. As the saying goes "magbiro ka sa lasing 'wag lang sa bagong gising" Bagong gising in the middle of the night that is with the help of my friend. So as the commotion went on one of the very cranky, angry nieghbors went out looked for the source and... B*TCHED SLAPPED her silly. And by the way this happened along the road. This is soO freakin' telenovela-esQUE. Wouldn't you agree?......


(photo courtesy of photobucket.com)

are we sluts?

Last night we had our first ever karaoke sessions eversince I don't know when at my friends house whom we shall call fondly as Nanay Caring (the reason why?... he's the eldest at 30 y.o.) We were there because it was another mini get together and because Coicoi is around town from Dubai. It started at 12 midnight. Quiet. Everybody in the house was already halfway through thier dreamland experience (Including the chickens outside) and behold Rey holding the microphone prancing around to the tune of "Dont stop the music" by Rihanna.

It lasted for half an hour until another pal whom we shall call Teacher Hansel decided that it was time for us to go out and well... look out for some prospects.

Before we made our way out we were all sitting outside Nanay Rey's house planning what to do next until an SUV slowly driving pulled down the window to see who these who of these lucky or unlucky ladies would be served as main course for their gastronomical carnal snack. He just went by slowly. All of us were wondering if that driver thought of us as hookers.Truth be told that the middle-aged cutie daddy was only checking out our freshly collagen-injected Teacher whom we shall call Bunny, Who at that time reflected on Riyo Mori's final walk tux and made a version for herself (thats with boobs and all).

Which made Coicoi reminise of his lets just say "A thousand Arabian Nights" the X-rated version. Every luxury car imaginable would drop by everytime he would walk around the streests of Dubai with the driver asking him if he needed help with his groceries, if he needed a lift or if he needed some release of tension, SEXUAL that is. And who knows what would happen next it could be somewhere between cocktails and coffee tomorrow morning.

That brings me to ask myself, with these things happening...

ARE WE SLUTS?.......

the perfect PRESENT

I just celebrated my birthday with the company of CLOSE friends. It was not that big of a party that's why i did not invite that much people. It was supposed to be an outdoor party but since the weather did not cooperate (even if i "sundanced" like Sarah G. in a very special love all afternoon). So it ended up on our front porch which i turned into a mini cocktail bar complete with dimmed lights. It wasn't the "oh so-big party" that people were waiting for, it was just a SEX and the City-esqe chit chat party where the people were all seated, well fed and hydrated with alcohol, and chilled to some beach house club mixes.

This was how it looked liked without the flash and all. Dimmed and private. The funny thing was that when we would turn the lights on all the gheys would scream and point to coi2x just to amaze themselves. See the bottom part of the photo. A star shaped cupcake?..

That's Moi, Tim, ShO and Glue. We made our version of " See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no evil, Smell no evil". With the latter being our twist to the adage.

Just good food, drinks and enjoying the company of good friends (with them there its more than enough)... that's gotta be a good way of turning older.

a year older,,...

Tomorrow i will turn a year older... but will i be wiser?.... good question. only time will tell. Thats what i always ask myself before my birthday. Hopefully a ray of light will show me the way or someone can. Hopefully...

oh come all ye faithful

I went out last Saturday. The first time I went out partying in three months. The reason why?.. It felt that I was too old to go party and get wasted. But since the role of the party planner went to me. I had no choice. It was the first time in a year that I saw my classmates after graduation. Seems like old times except that we were no longer confined in our white uniforms. We had dinner at larsian then had our doses of alcohol at doce.

Then i asked myself, Am i really too old to do such?.... I guess not! twenty two pa kaha ko... and geeez.. my birthday is comming up... oh where does the time go,,

a demented version of my so-called life

What's good about having crazy friends?
1. You can hurt them physically, and they'll definitely hit you back
2. You can curse them in their faces, then all of you will laugh
3. You can tell them all the crazy stuff in your head, then you'll find out they're a lot crazier
4. With them, you will never feel that youre alone
5. With them, you can be yourself all the time


I don't want to blog about my so-called, fairweathered friends right now. I guess i've had enough of them. i just don't give a F*** about them as of the time being. Im more focused on the people worth keeping. these people who have been kind enough to keep me company, make me laugh at their own expense and mine too (its a two-way relationship), but most of all... made me realize no matter how screwed up my life is there's always a reason for a drink.

this is Wewe. my faghag. A sing-a-long freak, soap opera fanatic and has a penchant for shopping as well. we snivel, bicker and fight in broad daylight, we've been through thick and thin, we even went to uhm,,.. ah basta the place where little red riding hood grew up to be a big bad wolf! don't let the looks fool you. Bayot pud ni!....... hahaha! Her claim to fame?... she's a Mickey Mouse clubber... look at her ears!.. hahaha! The reason why i love her?... No matter how i am mean to her, imagine i make her squirm, laugh and feel icky all at the same time! she even mentioned:

"dae d na ko ganahan mu tubag sa phone kai isyu napud" >>> thats mike su and me calling her.. and teasing her in every minute of the phonecall



And this is Mike Su. Here she is in her two-piece bikini and pekpek shorts ensemble. oh diba.. makes the playboy bunnies make a run for their money. He was my vice-president of my junior year, first semester. Although when the reshuffling we got separated making him the president of the class she was in and me in mine. Her claim to fame was that when we were still employed at peopleSUPPORT she was included in the fashion show (which made some controversy the next day). Why i love her?.. Shes the type that never lets you feel left out.





This is shoO.. we knew each other back in college because I, mike su (yes Mike Su was as dignified as madam president herself) and he were in some of the presidents meeting of our department. We worked for the same BPO company a few months back. and he's the guy which takes things relatively slow. Unlike some of us shoO is pretty laid back, always cares for a drink or two and is often the more serious than the two mentioned above. Why i love him?.... he waits for 30-40 minutes ++ for me and Wewe to arrive, he just smokes his cigarettes and let other people pass by (and takes notice of the hot young girls of legal age)

Si glue. she loves limpbizkit, greenday, punk music, online RPG games, and uhm did i say punk music?... di halata nuh?... but she does, she really does. Glo is the one can turn to whenever i want to hitch a ride or get a medcert without walking into a clinic (thanks to daddy johnny of course) and get discounts at Jolibee (c/o nice her sis was still employed there). Just like me she loves KFC, to the extent that we bought a bucket meal.. we'll we needed the help of Tim and Ariane to finish the entire bucket. Why i love her?.. no matter how bad i screw up she just shrugs it all away and just says....

"Matulog sa ko Jer, in a pissed/sleepy/sarcastic kinda way"

Si Tim, because he's a BAC (born again christian) he serves as our moral compass... kuno! Theres not much more to say about Tim except that he was the one to master cooking 2 batches of rice in a very BIG caldero na walang sablay (immersion '06) heheh.. that also serves as his claim to fame. why i love him?... he treats me like any other heterosexual guy around and he listens to all the whining and complaining that Glo and i do whenever we go home.

Si Jeddang. lovable, more merrier than the MERRY in merry Christmas. she's the one to turn to whenever you got problems that rival the height of Mt. Everest (cause believe me he'll climb it for you... kidding). in fairness to Jeddah he is not a quitter, no matter she failed a certain subject in school he manages keep his chin high, take it again and pass with flying colours (for the third time around). His claim to fame: he was awarded MISS CONGENIALITY in a MISS GAY EARTH production in the school and oh yeah... she claims that he and TV actress Anne Curtis look alike. DO YOU AGREE? Why i love her?... she makes me laugh no matter how sad the situation is.

Coicoi a.k.a. AngeliCOiCOi Panganiban. although he/she/it is in Dubai right now she never fails to email once in a while. she was my shopping partner, she haggles like lie theres no tomorrow to get a lot from a shopping money of a hundred pesos (tax free). the people in the house already consider him as an adopted son or daughter that she is. she used to come her almost everyday or whenever either of us were free. his claim to fame?... she manages to make smart, quirky remarks against him work for his advantage. His claim to fame, he managed to say:

"alahav aw dats basta laysho". Looking expensive even if were out of cash.

Too bad he's in Dubai.. i really miss him na.... who knows he made an appearance on GMA 7's CODENAME:asero which was shot in Dubai... oh i forgot he's solid kapamilya... ahehe

No pretensions

No fiction

No sh*ts

"Nothing's better than having CRAZY people you call as friends... do you have any?... "

tv and me....

For some goOd reason the cable is out today.

I have no idea what had happened, i'm just too upset to call the cable company and hear a ramdomly selected customer service associate who will give me enough reasons to think that i have the comprehension skills of a 4th grader. This has already happened twice. First was during the miss universe pageant on a beautiful monday morning. that had me flustered.

Really. Big time.

I had to endure the few minutes late telecast on a local station with my friend mike su teasing me on the phone while he would give away bits and pieces of who made it into the top 15 of the pageant! why of all days would they choose to cut the cable on such a day. Don't they know that pageants like these is like the NBA championships to all the baklitaz all over the world, (at which my brother would be screaming like crazy!... all the yeahs and the boOyeahs! that would hound and pound the house btw, he's a lakers fanatic which made him upset as for those who don't know the lakers lost the championships)

And now the tv is only showing a snowy reception.. in other words... ga karat2x ang tv namo! tse!.... thats why i'm in front of the pc right now...

Grrrr....

Not that much of a couch potato though, but who doesn't want TV time?... huh?

of curves and a straight lines

"Actually, God made men and women different. But the big difference between women and men--it doesn't matter what kind of life they live--is that men think that the faster way to go to a point is to go straight. Women, no. The faster way to go to a point is to go through curves and fixing every curve," -- DAYANA MENDOZA.

a witty answer and a flirty smile-- yan ang lethal combination para ma sungkit ang ang coveted crown na on my opinion looks like ah.. basta kahit na sabihin nilang ilang milyon ang worth nya mukha pa rin xang braces! i really liked the crowns before napaka regal ng dating.. seems like gustong-gusto ng mga badinggerZ ang maisuOt ito with a designer couture gown from kahit sinong atelier basta maganda lng ang bustier at may flowing silk chiffon skirt na parang nasa labas ka lang at dinadala ng hangin ang palda mo!

pero infairness like ko xa (dayana).. i really find the national costume she wore amusing... biruin mo... may drama pa na pierce ang ilong nya, tsaka feel ko ang aura nya and the way she moves on stage... parang idol nya yata si pilita corrales... kase... LIYAD! hala LIYAD pa ineng!... pero i laveetttt!!!

And as for the outgoing Miss Universe '07 Riyo Mori who in my opinion has grown to be more beautiful in her reign, made quite a statement on her final walk. wearing a tux (in fairness she looked soO good in the tux ha!) so in her words "if i can do it so can you!"... so mga badet mag tux na!

yun na!!!

(photo courtesy of globalbeauties.com)

snorty snort, snort!

how does it feel like to have friends who snort drugs??

ask kaya natin some celebreties?....

siguro parang wala lang... "eh feel nila eh.. care ko.. at least they're happy" ang drama.

pero what if it happened to you.. how would you feel?...

as if celebrity ka.. duh! but kidding aside how would you react? because not so long ago a friend has told me that one common friend(one of my besties who i am currently having a falling out with) has been sniffing around and that he has already become a man/woman of substance (and not the witty type ha!). as skeptic as i am i still am not believing that he is doing drugs. and if he is, i hope we can still talk him out of it....

HOPEFULLY...

its not true,,,.....

i should be soO lucky!!

that's a question that i have for the longest time... sometimes i feel like lady luck is such a snob. is she irritated? upset? jealous of my beauty? (chos!), i don't know. but all of my life up until now i feel like she's not smiling at me often. seems like she's rolling her eyes at me on the 11th hour then disaster happens in every way possible as in every way. nothing is spared its either move out to the side or get your insurance agent on the phone ASAP and check the coverage of your insurance.

I'm not ranting about the thins that i think i deserve. its just that i feel like i don;t have all the luck in the world. yeah i know life is not a bed of roses, and that these so called challenges will just shape us for the better, but to what extent?... shape us to the size of kate moss?

i sometimes feel like I'm not the best decision maker in the world, although many people might argue that they are. hey there's a lot of us (mag tally kaha tas atong kamalasan para kitang katag)

I'm just upset about A LOT of things,,... that's all and how kinda think I'm UNLUCKY.... such a harsh word don't ya think? though i have my friends (na may sandamakmak pud nga kamalasan sa ilang mga life) at the end of the day its just me alone, reflecting on my life and how bad it has been. Or so it think...

am i being to nega?.. well an old team manger whom i shall call j.o. (don't u ever think of lewd thoughts because of the acronym) "don't be nega, you should always aim high, strive for the best"... well i did that alright and got two 100% CSATs that night... then i thought,.. there's no need to nag about things not going my way. and that i should appreciate it as much as i can. that i should think that things happen for a reason.

maybe there's a bit of luck in me.. a pinch, a smidgen, a speck......
but there's a lot to be thankful for... maskin malason kong taw,,,,....
well that's life...murag bato... its hard,... hehehehe

a tale of two men

before the whole thing gets twisted. its a case of who u with at this time of the day dear. where cheating is not only confined in the classrooms, politicians office, it could be made in broad daylight. malls in this case.

nope i did not cheat (as for the time being) whatsoever. this is all about my fag hag whom we shall fondly call Lily V. and this is her adventure as she is crossing the Mactan channel with two men on each side(talk about torn between two lovers). although she tells me before that she has already made the decision of marrying his beau of 4++ years, even though on the course of those years they (yes both of them ladies and gentlemen) cheated a long the way.

Lily is the typical Filipina: sun-kissed skin, charming ways, and a head turner along the way. she is a streetsmart beauty who just like me has a penchant for shopping.. may it be at the malls, factory outlets and the ukay2x... she knows that she looks good and uses that gift to her advantage. then enter Janssen. the man of her life for the past 4 years or so.

4 years later thats after she met the man she thought of marrying, another came into the picture. well its made the picture fuzzy, blurry and uh,... a bit unidentifiable. and it started as a joke. and as they say jokes are often half meant. but as for this girl she was dead bored. so she needed a little entertainment of her own (as if the tv and the pc were not enough) she even lets us tag along ("us".. not just me but a number of US...2 to 5 of US, or more). the guy for entertainment.. lets call him Charlie.

Charlie is the encyclopedia photo you would be expecting if you were scanning through the pages for Tall, dark and handsome. he had his own car, was employed and was as hot as hell. and he also brought his bag of stories and his own fanclub..all rolled in one= himself. although i have not heard all his self-righteous boasting (its was all Lily's forwarned and forwarded messages) i get the picture. he was as vain as Narcissus himself, but as i've noticed from day one that we've met... he has his favorite pair of quicksilver plaid capri shorts he loves to wear,... all the time. (hey im just observant, who knows he's got a ton of 'em... who knows its wholesale from the Taiwanese shops in Colon)...

although it has already been 4 months since they first met... there's no stopping them from seeing each other. And, oh... before i forget, did i already mention that Charlie is also seeing someone else. and that he tells tales of his girlfriend in an unapologetically, "im so proud of her", that "she was as fickle as the next lady choosing her manolo's, and i'm sOo happy she chose me among the throng of men that surrounds her."(she's not THE standout beauty you would imagine from the words of charlie himself although it feels like she was over hyped by charlie as if she was this new moviestar you'd do anything to have a photo of.. judging from the photos i've seen. i look more HOT than her even without photoshop)........ this has gotten to be really juicy.. more juice than a ripe grapefruit... care to have a glass?..... hmmm.... tempting?... am i?

*sigh....

I'm officially upset...

its that I'm being left out or am i being an inch closer to being Marie Antoinette's feeling of indifference..

when did it all begin?.. yesterday? last week? a month ago? the year before?...

and who started it all?.. me.. or them?...


its as if I'm being left out for nothing. .. by the way 2 friends left me out for a case of boOze...
can i be not pathetic enough..

or should i replace them with new ones?....

shiny, sparkling new friends in lieu of the old, dusty and ragged friends i had,,..

i don't want to be all Miranda priestly and be mean ,,.. its not me. I'm not a devil i most certainly cant afford prada.

makes the saying true enough "with friends like these?... who needs enemies".

money makes the world go round...

a funny though crossed my mind while being ushered in by a flamboyant neighbor of mine the other night...

"sus dae ayaw jud pah hikog kung madato ka.. "

sounds absurd pero it made sense for the most part.. sure money changes everything.. but wait.. why do rich people die with all that drama...

it could be as blair waldorf said in an episode of gossip girl that who ever said that money can't buy you everything must be shopping in the wrong store. sad but true... if u had that much money u'll never run out of ideas how tho spend it. unless its your funeral that is...

but what is money after all... its just a piece of paper with squiggles on it..

pero masilaw jud ka maski sagatos ra... hardyharhar...

and p.s. it might seem suicidal but im not... still have a life ahead of me...

apee beerday glue

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

as i jumped in the pool canon ball style.

although it was fun doing 'em lapses in the pool care of our trainer anin and our extra student jazz it went good.

trying to be an olympic swimmer that i'm not. a decision that i'm regretting as im jottting down this blog. (sakiiiiitaaa ako lawas! leche!)

by the way were POOL-ing around cause we were celebrating in a very late sense glue's birthday. yes she wants to spell her name that way.

"nganong glorimae gani to imo name glue" i would fondly ask.

she would give me a sore smirk and say "na.. mama ay.. glorious mystery of may daw"
hehehe..

we all went home at 12 midnight. without some boOze...

huhuhu...

mu body misses alcohol so much. i don't even know how it tastes like na,,... huhuh

a friend issue

i recieved a sms from not-so-distant-pero-distant na rin nga friend. asking help regarding some school work apparently. try as i might im feeling a little indifferent towards him.. why?... a series of unfriendly FRIEND issues had happened before.

way before...

or that i feel like i as a friend is now being replace by a bottle of stallion, which to me is sort of unfair (if it were to be a bottle of champagne, we can absolutely negotiate)

it is often said that leave something for your friend, not leave your friend for something.

but what do comes between friendship?.. was it the times when you were just friends or when the time has passed and made you FRIENEMIES??....


my..my..my...

and the question is....

ever been asked the question... drum roll please... :

"if you were to be born again would you rather be gay again?..."

argh... funny but true.. sa 21 years nako sa pagka bayot the question woul pop everytime. and whenever it is asked it turns into a miss universe final question moment where all eyes are on you and you alone. they try to analyze that if you like the feeling of being gay now you would like to have a season 2 of it... murag reality show?..diba..

sounds weird pero i guess i don't, i mean its fun to be gay pero growing up was full of taunting and of course uncertainty. what i mean to say is the constant teasing in the playgrounds with you in the middle kung asa ka mulaban? if sa girls ba or sa boys. the hiding from your family. all homo's can relate to me. but growing as a gay person in my family isn't that easy. the only one queer among a broOd of 3, again.. it was not easy. seaman pa ako papa. sort of, kinda, parang lisod ipagawas imo tinoOd nga gibati

pero infairness i was never an abused child (thank heavens). well infairness wala ko gi priso ug cabinet or cr, gi sulod ug sako then gipa-asohan or even worse ipa exorcism to drive away the demon that has taken over my body. ang ako d makalimtan kai as i was playing chinese garter (sort of flexible man ko, then i could do high jumps.. heheh divaaH!) gibitad ako dunggan sa ako mum and that was it,, nothing more.. kinda embarassing at that but as i think of it now it actually makes me laugh. i mean i am still close with my mum(ahemm... ako kahay tig ibot ug kilay niya ron). as for now they have already accepted me for what i am, "although we bicker and fight under it all hopefully is love and above it certainly is fabulousity" as verbalized pang kimora lee simmons.

the haunting

all these time i must have been either too busy looking for love, too busy avoiding love or worse love is busy and avoiding me. the thought is heartbreaking but being the hopeful romantic that i am i just brush it aside and laugh my heart out.

but during lonely nights when your friends are out and you're home alone and and as you lie awake in your bed at the middle of the night you suddenly think about someone hugging you and pushing the right buttons makes me frustratrated. yeah i know all about those people who often tell me that love will just come and all i need to do is wait. but how long will i wait>?.. sleeping beauty waited for how many years for her prince,.. hey i am not implying that I'm sleeping beauty, i don't even have fairy gOdmothers.. (heehaw although i wish i had..)..

but what if u think u found the ONE,.. u were too shy and to be rejected. well the feelings might be mutual but what the hell you still feel shy to tell anyway. until one day u felt that because you were too shy that person left because u weren't as responsive as he had thought you might be. but you still remember the days when HE used to come by your house have dinner with you and the days and nights you were together would lead up to your very first kiss,the many months of flirting would end up lost in ancient history, to be forgotten...

or so i think 4 years later HE suddenly bumps into you (and its not likely anywhere, its at work baby!)..feels weird but the memories flash back and suddenly the weird feeling of love suddenly starts to enter your system and whammo!! hits you like a deer on headlights... u suddenly feel the urge to be a little more reserved than the usual, starting to act to be demure and keeping your cool and let him do the chasing..

hehehehe..
yes.. it happened i don't know what to do... i like him but suddenly it feels like love is finally haunting me..