ouch namien!

The prelude to my weekend has been a heart-breaking sudden turn of events. I have just found out that lonelyboy is seeing someone and that someone ain’t me.

Ouch, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Big time.

Maybe the stars were already aligned at one point in time and that my only MAJO! MAJOR! Mistake was not playing my cards right.

I spoke to Geng first about my predicament and true to the Michael Chitru Credo AKA Mr Geng fashion, he listened. Waited for me to throw all I can and after a sigh of relief from he would reply simple words that would reassure me that everything is going to be OK.

Then the plot continues, Roxy was at the office since Keith asked him to drop by due to my predicament, wherein unfortunately Keith and his big mouth blurted out some things that Roxy can connect the dots and see the bigger picture (I gave lonelyboy a smack on the lips the night prior, although I’m not sure if his partner could have clobbered me at that point but I was to hurt to care, not noticing Roxy had seen what I did). I was caught off guard when he confronted me.

So I asked them both, was there something I did? To which they had to agree on this I DID NOT MAKE HIM REALIZE THATI WAS, HEY! I’M HERE.. I LIKE YOU..GIVE ME A CHANCE; CAN YOU OPEN YOUR HEART TO ME?

And I believe that was my Waterloo, as Mr Geng observed that I would act as if I had no intentions of loving him when we’d kid around every time at the office lobby. It’s just me sabotaging myself. Roxy told me that I could have acted aggressively but in an assertive manner, mala-RUBI daw kuno, but it’s far too late. And I have to live with it.

I can strike up conversations with strangers but definitely not with the one I like/love for that matter.

Now I have to act like one of the girls at the Miss Universe pageant smiling and clapping on stage while someone else is being crowned, wishing nothing but the best to the winner, waiting for the disappointment to sink in.

And P.S. I’m not crying at this point. I believe it’s pointless, wa mi ga-uyab so there.