I got a shock as I was chomping down crispy pata and gambas last night. I had that familiar yet unfamiliar feeling of waiting to hear something and that it does not turn out the way you wanted yet you are still holding on to a glimmer of hope that all of it is just a joke or a dream but no matter how hard you try to pinch yourself and no matter how many reality checks have been made its just there and no amount of denial will ever do the trick. It's just it needed to happen somehow, and it did. Unfortunately without warning.
I am still in the convalescent period of the whole event. The thing is I was not supposed to know about it up until Monday but I got my early edition and it felt surreal. I am still in the process of going back to the way things were before it happened. Just like how my body is reacting to the pata. And I know in a morbid kind of way that its going to feel like a phantom limb phenomenon, you feel like its there but hell no it ain't!!! And its never going to be that way.
Change is something that's gotta be good, but its too abrupt. But every thing changes. And I can't help but bitch about it every time it crosses my mind. I really need to shrug it off, make it work and go on avail by Monday though.
